Rubbernecker, Issue 1: Don’t Call Them Trannies (0)
Posted 13 December, 2007 in rubbernecker
My dream job is to write about subcultures and get paid for it. I don’t necessarily want to involve myself in these subcultures: I just want to hang out with the people in them, learn the lay of the land, and generally stare at everyone. One day, I will write about the best job I ever had, which entailed being paid to pretend I was a somewhat promiscuous gay man. Until I can find another job like that one, there will be a big hole in my life, which used to be filled with weirdoes. (I use that term in the most loving of ways.)
It’s hard to go out and meet freaks when I myself am rather boringly normal; they tend to think I am making fun of them. But I’m not: I am genuinely fascinated by people who identify more with vampires than with humans, or like to be strapped to ceiling-mounted torture devices, or would feel better about themselves if they were amputees, or have special tools they use to purge their dinner. I am sincerely interested in all that stuff; I take it very seriously. Have an unusual psychological disorder? I want to talk to you about it. I don’t have one, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to know about yours. Only get turned on by people dressed in plush rabbit costumes with holes in the crotch so they can get it on while still wearing the suit? Well, that is kind of funny, but I still want to know all about it.
Since I don’t have the pleasure of meeting many weirdoes in real life, the Net has become my savior when it comes to finding out about them. I have eclectic taste in freaks - there are so many interesting subcultures. Because I do it all the time anyway, my husband suggested I make a blog feature out of scouring the Net for the inside scoop on various non-mainstream social groups. So I’d like to welcome you to the inaugural edition of a category I’m going to call Rubbernecker. Our subject today: trannies.
Now, the first thing to know about trannies is this: it’s rude to call them trannies. The correct term is “transpeople.” It’s also more polite to refer to their sex-change process as “transitioning,” rather than asking them if they got their dick lopped off or if their doctor built them a new one out of skin grafts. There are male-to-female and female-to-male transpeople. Don’t assume that just because Bobby wants to become Betty, this means Bobby likes to have sex with men; sometimes a person’s sexual preference can be entirely separate from his or her gender identity. Bobby might fancy straight women, gay women, straight men, or gay men. Bobby might even wind up with another transperson. Does that make him/her straight or gay? From what I gather, it goes like this: If you’re an M-to-F transperson, you identify yourself as a woman. So, if you like men, you’d call yourself straight, even if you are going out with a man who was once a woman (i.e. an F-to-M transperson). Do you get me? I know it’s complicated, but it’s all about what you think of yourself as.
Some transpeople have surgery and go on hormones; some pass on the surgery but still do the hormones; and some just dress and behave like the opposite sex, without making any biological modifications at all. (Some only dress up sometimes, and don’t really identify as the opposite sex: they are referred to as crossdressers rather than transpeople.) There’s a lot more to transitioning than just getting your sex bits switched around. It can end up costing $50,000 or more. Phalloplasty - in which F-to-M people receive a new schlong - can cost that much, and it’s not an easy surgery; a lot can go wrong. Male or female hormone therapy can also be expensive. Sometimes health insurance will cover it, sometimes not. Even if it’s covered, it can run you $45 a month. Then there’s facial feminization surgery, permanent hair removal, breast implants, mastectomies, and even prosthetics of various kinds. Voice surgery (to lower or raise the pitch of your voice) is in the works, but the techniques are not yet perfected. You’ll also need a shrink, who’ll charge upwards of $100 an hour without insurance to talk you through your transformation. Finally, factor in the cost of a new wardrobe and shoes, especially if you’re M-to-F. You can cut expenses by traveling to South Asia or the South Pacific to have your surgery, where it’s cheaper. Another way to save money is to get your hormones on the black market, but obviously, dosage amount and quality might be inconsistent if you do so.
In order to be officially recognized in the US as being the gender you have switched to, you need a letter stating you have had sex-reassignment surgery, or a report of bloodwork from an endocrinologist, which will include a sex marker (a blood-based identification of whether you’re a boy or a girl - hormone replacement therapy can change your sex marker). Then you get a new birth certificate, and you can go get a new driver’s license, too. In the UK, you receive a Gender Recognition Certificate with a royal coat of arms on it. Then, after all this, which bathroom do you go to? That still seems to depend on where you are and how tolerant the people in that place happen to be.
Besides calling them trannies, there are certain other things you should try to avoid saying to transpeople. Don’t give them “tranny compliments,” which are compliments that only make sense when given to a transsexual, and therefore aren’t really flattering at all. “You’re looking very feminine tonight,” is a good example of a tranny compliment, as is, “You look better in that dress than I do.” Also, if you know a transperson, don’t out him or her to friends, coworkers, or family members who may not be aware that he or she is transgendered: let him or her tackle this situation as he or she sees fit. It’s probably taken him or her a long time to feel comfortable about transitioning, so it’s reasonable to expect that it might take a while before he or she wants to shout it to the heavens (or just to Aunt Sheila).
There are, of course, a million other facets of transgender life I could cover here - among them, how a doctor-built hoo-ha compares to a Nature-made one; female hormones’ effect on balding, physical strength, sex drive, and body hair; and “regular” gay folks’ sometimes surprising attitudes toward transpeople - but in order to avoid the curse of tl; dr, I’ll stop now. I’m pleased to elaborate further if anyone would like me to - just ask.
Thus endeth the first installment of Rubbernecker. Coming soon: the wonderful, woolly world of bears; pro-anorexia girls (and the occasional boy too); adult ADD sufferers; and many more small groups of interesting weirdoes.