In which I admit there are things I am ashamed I do not know, and my attempts to rectify this situation (3)

Posted 13 September, 2007 in nuts and bolts

I first began thinking about the idea for this post while watching football yesterday. The Netherlands had just beaten Albania 1-0 in a Euro 08 qualifying match. Next, the commentator said, Holland would be playing Romania. Right then, O asked me where Bucharest was. “Uh, Romania,” I snorted. “It’s the capital.”

“No,” he clarified, “I mean, where is it located within Romania?”

I was ashamed to admit that I did not know, especially after being so snotty about it. Luckily, Wikipedia came to the rescue, and within a couple of minutes O informed me that the city was in the southeast part of the country. Still, my cheeks burned with the shame of my paltry knowledge of geography.

As we went back to watching the football, it occurred to me that there were many things I should know that I did not. With a jolt of horror, I suddenly realized: I did not even know the difference between Roy Keane and Robbie Keane! Which footballer was still playing, or had both men retired? Who was considered the better player? For God’s sake, what did they even look like? How would I ever be able to face my brothers again if I did not know this information? This would all be well and good if I did not watch football, but I did, and often enjoyed it quite a bit. I had to educate myself. Again, Wikipedia came to my aid.

It turns out both Keanes are Irish (Republic, not Northern). Roy is the older and more venerated footballer. A central midfielder, he played for Manchester United for twelve years. He now manages Sunderland, and is doing a fine job of it. Robbie is nine years younger than Roy, and comes from Dublin, whereas the older Keane hails from Cork. He is a striker rather than a midfielder, and plays for Tottenham.

I am only a little less ashamed of myself now that I know this, because I still had to look it up. And to think my cat is named after a footballer. His name is Gunnar, after Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, another Manchester United player whose nickname is the Babyfaced Assassin. Fitting for my small, delicate-looking, yet way-too-ballsy cat.

By the way, I didn’t have to use Wikipedia to figure out how to spell Solskjaer, I’ll have you know. I may be a football ignoramus, but my spelling is impeccable.

POSTSCRIPT: I am also slightly ashamed that my cat is named after a Manchester United player, since I was born and raised a Leeds United fan. My oldest bro told me to just start saying he’s named after Gunnar Halle instead.