Beastie History (1)
Posted 20 June, 2007 in music
When the first major-label Beastie Boys album, Licensed to Ill, came out, it was 1986, and I was 11 years old. Twenty-one years later, the Beastie Boys are about to release their seventh record, The Mix-Up. My generation grew up with the Beasties, and the Beasties grew up too – they transformed from spotty-faced, beer-swilling clowns into gray-haired elder statesmen of hip-hop. I bet if you showed a young, chubby Mike D what he would look like in 2007, he wouldn’t recognize the cadaverous yoga aficionado – until, of course, he looked at his older self’s sneakers, which throughout the years have remained as fresh as ever. The lyrics on the Beasties’ six albums show how their perspective has changed, and how their random humor - one of the traits I love the most about them – hasn’t changed at all.
The Beasties used to be known for their love of booze, girls, and cartoonish violence. In Licensed to Ill’s “Paul Revere,” Ad-Rock says, “The sheriff’s after me for what I did to his daughter/I did it like this/ I did it like that/I did it with a whiffleball bat.” Obviously he didn’t really do anything with a whiffleball bat, other than perhaps play whiffleball, but he was still cool with rapping about it. MCA speaks of carrying a “.22 automatic on [his] person,” in “The New Style.” In the song “Shake Your Rump,” from their second album, Paul’s Boutique, the Beasties say, “Never been dumped ’cause I’m the most mackinest/Never been jumped ’cause I’m known the most packinest.” These days, MCA won’t say the line “My name’s MCA, I’ve got a license to kill,” from “Paul Revere” – he changes it to “I’ve got a license to chill,” instead. And I hear Ad-Rock doesn’t do the whiffleball line any more either. Hello Nasty finds the boys proclaiming, “I don’t like to fight, I don’t carry a piece.” What a difference 21 years makes. (Of course, the next line is, “I wear permanent press so I’m always creased,” which shows you that actually, 21 years hasn’t made that much of a difference.)
Most people my age know the song “Girls” from Licensed to Ill, with Ad-Rock singing nasally about “Girls to do the dishes/Girls to clean up my room/Girls to do the laundry,” and so on. By their fourth record, Ill Communication, the Beasties want to make it clear that never again will they “throw a mattress in [a chick’s] face” like they talked about doing in “B-Boy Bouillabaisse” off Paul’s Boutique. (Even though that particular chick turned out to be a dude. But that’s beside the point.) They get downright feminist in “Sure Shot,” with the lyrics, “I want to say a little something that’s long overdue/The disrespect to women has got to be through/To all the mothers and sisters and the wives and friends/I want to offer my love and respect to the end.”
The Beastie Boys used not to like the gays so much. Allegedly, they were going to name their first album “Don’t Be A Faggot,” but someone persuaded them to change it to “Licensed to Ill” instead. Good move. Then there’s this lyric from the same album: “You drippy-nose knucklehead/you’re wet behind the ears/You like men/and we like beer.” (Can one not like both men and beer? I do.) By the time they released To The Five Boroughs, though, the Beasties had become more open-minded: “We got to keep the party going on/All lifestyles, sizes, shapes, and forms.”
They also weren’t very politically correct, as this lyric from Paul’s Boutique’s “High Plains Drifter” demonstrates: “Knucklehead deli tried to gyp me on the price/So I clocked him off the turban with a bag of ice.” Two racially dubious comments in one rhyming couplet! On their next album, Check Your Head, they make it right by “wish[ing] for peace between the races.”
The B-boys enjoyed a toke every now and then – in “Car Thief” off Paul’s Boutique, they state, “I don’t buy cheeba, I grow it.” By Ill Communication, however, at least one band member had sworn off the wacky tobacky: “I’m feeling strong, see, trust myself G/Well I stopped smoking cheeba/And that was part of the key.” On Alive, a new song off the 1999 anthology Sounds of Science, MCA was still on the wagon: “Don’t smoke cheeba/can’t stand crack.” They’ve come a long way from the crack-torching boasts on Licensed to Ill. I’m pretty sure the Beasties were never crackheads, but as they’ve gotten older, they won’t even joke about hitting the rock anymore.
Then there’s the Beasties’ metamorphosis from hedonistic teen pranksters to thoughtful, spiritual older dudes. It seems to start on Check Your Head, with its references to Mother Earth, and songs with names like “Namaste.” This must be right around the time MCA got into Buddhism. Ad-Rock “give[s] thanks for inspiration” on “Pass the Mic.” “A lot of people get jealous, they’re talking about me,” he says, then rather than attacking them for doing so, he very maturely decides, “That’s just ’cause they haven’t got a thing to say.” The spirituality continues on Ill Communication – the track “The Update” contains the lyrics “I’m sending loving light to all that is/To all creation and the life we live.” Hello Nasty sends the same message in “3 MCs and 1 DJ”: “To all beings everywhere, be happy and free.”
Along with the spirituality comes political and ecological awareness. “Finger Lickin’ Good,” from Check Your Head, contains the verse, “Down some papaya, down with the revolution/Always wear my goggles ’cause there’s so much pollution,” I think we can assume that they’re not saying “Down with the revolution,” but are expressing that they are down with it – that they are on board. And they probably don’t really wear goggles. But it’s the thought that what counts. By the time they release To The Five Boroughs, they’re not mincing words: “We’ve got a president we didn’t elect/The Kyoto treaty he decided to neglect.” How often do you hear someone talk about the Kyoto treaty in a hip-hop song? That is why I love the Beastie Boys.
The B-boys are middle-aged men. Mike D’s 41, MCA’s 42, and Ad-Rock is 40. They used to rhyme about going into your locker and smashing your glasses, but on 1994’s Ill Communication, they’re starting to say things like, “I’ve got more rhymes than I’ve got grey hairs/And that’s a lot because I’ve got my share.” By 1998 and Hello Nasty, they’ve realized they’re getting a bit creaky: “Let your backbone flip but don’t slip a disc/Let your spine unwind, just take a risk.” All that yoga Mike D does will hopefully protect his aging spine from being injured when he does the Flintstone Flop.
The weird, allusive humor of the Beasties is one thing that hasn’t changed over the years. I’m happy they’ve gotten nicer in their semi-old age, but I’m glad they haven’t become humorless like so many people seem to do as they age. The references have gotten a bit loftier – from Bullwinkle to Carl Sagan – but otherwise, the Beastie Boys still write some of the most peculiar and hilarious non-sequiturs in hip-hop. Here are my top 12 favorites, in chronological order.
1. Because I’m hard hittin’, always bitten, cool as hell/I got trees on my mirror so my car won’t smell
– “Slow Ride,” Licensed to Ill
2. I do the Smurf, the Popeye, and the Jerry Lewis/I like Bullwinkle but I don’t like Moose
– “Posse in Effect,” Licensed to Ill
3. So like a pimp I’m pimpin’/I got a boat to eat shrimp in/Nothing wrong with my leg, I’m just B-boy limpin’
– “Shake Your Rump,” Paul’s Boutique
4. Cheech wizard in a snow blizzard/Eating chicken gizzards with a girl named Lizzy
– “Sounds of Science,” Paul’s Boutique
5. Met a girl at a party and I gave her my card/You know that it said Napoleon Bonaparte
– “Lay It On Me,” Paul’s Boutique
6. Mike D’s out back and he’s growing onions/I’ve got bigger buns than my man Paul Bunyan’s
– “Finger Lickin’ Good,” Check Your Head
7. Yeah, you know I’m getting silly/I’ve got a grandma Hazel and a grandma Tilly
– “Get It Together,” Ill Communication
8. My girl’s got cheeks for weeks and I’m happy/You know I’m a sneak like my old grandpappy
– “Alright Hear This,” Ill Communication
9. Dogs love me cause I’m crazy sniffable/I bet you never knew I got the ill peripheral
– “The Move,” Hello Nasty
10. I’m the king of Boggle, there is none higher/I get 11 points off the word quagmire
– “Putting Shame in your Game,” Hello Nasty
11. Like Ernest Shackleton said to Orde-Lees/I’ll have dog pemmican with my tea
- “Oh Word?” To The Five Boroughs
12. “I’ve got billions and billions of rhymes to flex/’Cause I’ve got more rhymes than Carl Sagan’s got turtlenecks
– “Hey Fuck You,” To The Five Boroughs