kicking ass on my behalf (0)
Posted 27 April, 2005 in life shiz
emma was one of my best friends when i was a teenager. we were completely different: she was blond, tan, an athlete, born and bred in southern california, a non-smoker and non-drinker with a strong sense of justice, a volatile temper, and unswerving loyalty, unless she decided she didn’t like you that day. she decided we were going to be best friends and i just sort of followed along.
her way of being a best friend was to defend me at all costs. threats to kick people’s asses on my behalf were pretty common. i didn’t need to defend her in return, because she could stand up for herself just fine. once we caravanned to get gas. i parked behind her in the crowded gas station, then realized i didn’t know how to pump gas: i’d only got my license a week ago. “emma,” i called, “can you help me?”
she left her car at the pump in front of mine and came to show me how to pump gas. just then, another car pulled into the gas station, and a woman leant out of the window. “are you done?” she called to emma, pointing to her car.
“wait,” emma called back, “i’m helping her. she’s never pumped gas before.”
“don’t tell me to wait!” the woman said angrily.
emma turned around. “what did you say?”
“i said don’t tell me to wait,” but now emma was up at the woman’s window and her head was going back and forth like a fucking cobra. “what did you say, bitch?”
“excuse me, bitch?” the woman rallied weakly, and emma bent down into her window. “listen, bitch,” she hissed. i was watching all this from across the gas station, totally dumbfounded, straining to hear what emma was saying to the woman. she was so mad she was practically spitting in the woman’s face. “you better back the fuck off or i will kick your ass.” then she pulled her head out of the window and walked away. the woman had a freaked-out look on her face, and she backed her car up, mumbling angrily.
“what a fucking bitch,” emma said breezily as she came up to me. i was still speechless. “you ok with gas?” i nodded. then we got in our cars and took off for wherever we were going.
even though that was completely unnecessary, it was also kind of sweet. i don’t doubt that emma would have kicked the woman’s ass, either, had it come to that. she was quite a bruiser. she was also not quite right in the head, as would become evident later in our friendship, but i’ll always fondly remember the time she almost fought someone for me. not many people will do that for you.